


Reason to Believe

by handyhunter



Category: Astonishing X-Men, X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Asian Character, Gen, sandwichverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-19
Updated: 2010-02-19
Packaged: 2017-10-07 09:26:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/63755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handyhunter/pseuds/handyhunter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hisako and Brand have a conversation. Set after the X-Men move to San Francisco. Spoilers for Joss Whedon's Astonishing X-Men.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reason to Believe

> _Dear Mom and Dad,_
> 
> You've probably heard by now that the X-Men have moved to San Francisco. We moved because Professor Xavier's house blew up when Cable (Mr. Summers' son from the future) ran away with a new mutant baby (there wasn't supposed to be any more of those, but now there is one and everyone is trying to get their hands on her) and Prof X got shot and almost died, but Magneto (his long-time enemy -- you know, the one with the funny helmet?) saved his life. I'm not sure where Prof X is now; I haven't actually seen him in a while.

 

Hisako sat at the kitchen counter of the X-Men's new home in San Francisco, attempting to write an email to her parents about everything that had happened recently. That it was two in the morning was perhaps the reason she thought this was a good idea, instead of calling them at a reasonable hour like a normal person. Furthermore, if she talked to her parents, they'd find out she hadn't been keeping up with her Japanese lessons, which did not include learning new ways to swear; Logan wasn't around to crib answers off of either, though he nearly got her into trouble one time when he deliberately gave her the wrong phrases ("Should do your own homework, kid," was all he said when she complained). Hisako chalked up her inability to sleep to the space travel. If travelling to the other side of the world could give a body jet-lag, who knew what space travel could do? It wasn't like she was an astronaut or anything. In fact, she was pretty sure "going to space" had never been one of her life goals.

> _But before all that -- before I was officially an X-Man (X-Woman? X-Girl?) even, guess what? We went to space! Bet you never thought you'd hear me say that. It's really dark up there. Not that I saw much of outer space because after we were beamed up (don't laugh, dad), we spent most of the time trying to figure out what we were doing up there and if Peter was going to end the Breakworld (before they destroyed Earth) and if Agent Brand was on our side. Agent Brand's part of S.W.O.R.D. I forget what the acronym stands for, but it has something to do with aliens, I think. She has green hair and wears gloves all the time, like Rogue, but they don't have the same mutation. I'm not even sure Agent Brand is a mutant._

 

As if writing about her conjured her up, Agent Brand walked into the kitchen and nodded at Hisako. "Hello, Hisako."

". . .Agent Brand! Hi! I didn't see you. Or know you were here." Hisako was fairly certain Brand couldn't see through a computer, but to be on the safe side, she switched tabs on the browser to her Twitter page. No new tweets in the past ten minutes.

"I'm not here officially," said Brand, as she opened a cupboard and peered inside. "I'm just here to see Hank."

Upon closer examination, Hisako concluded that Agent Brand was not wearing her usual green-and-black costume, but something far more relaxed. "Oh," she said. And then tried very hard not to think about her teachers and their extracurricular activities. "May I ask you a question?"

"You may ask," Brand said, sounding slightly amused.

That was better than angry. Hisako had seen Brand angry, and it wasn't something she wanted directed at her, especially without Logan as a buffer; he knew what to say to Brand, but his comments were way too disrespectful of authority figures for Hisako to ever attempt, not even on her worst days. "Do you ever get jet-lag -- space-lag?"

"Not that I've noticed. But then, you and I are both awake at this hour." Brand lifted up a large pot on the drying rack, looked under it and put it down again. "Where are the Pop Tarts?"

"You like Pop Tarts?" Hisako couldn't keep the surprise out of her voice. It was just that Brand was so. . .sharp and intimidating, she didn't seem like she ever stopped to snack, much less on something sweet and sticky like a Pop Tart.

"Hank insists I should try them." After a thorough investigation of the shelves containing plates and glasses, Agent Brand moved onto the cupboard of condiments and spices.

"The last time I checked, they were on the second shelf over there, behind the tea," said Hisako. She switched back to her email and continued writing.

> _Agent Brand eats Pop Tarts. I had to show her where Dr. McCoy stashes his snacks so Mr. Summers can pretend he doesn't see them. Mr. Summers disapproves of junk food. He's always buying healthy stuff that Logan says tastes like cardboard. I don't know why Logan eats Mr. Summers' food if he knows he's not going to like it. Dr. McCoy used to keep food in his lab, but I don't think he does that anymore. It's too. . .sterile down there, not like the lab at Xavier's, which was more like Dr. McCoy's secret lair. Also, there are too many people here - and in the lab - for it to feel like a secret lair._

 

"A-ha! Found them!" Agent Brand pulled out a new box of the strawberry flavoured kind. She studied the picture, then turned the box over to read the nutrition panel.

"The toaster's next to the coffee maker," Hisako said. "I like them better when they're warm."

> _Everything's different now. Not only because we moved -- everyone keeps saying the teachers are acting strange because moving is stressful. I think it's because Kitty Pryde got left behind in space when she stopped the bullet from blowing up the world. (Did you know about that? I forget how it was reported on the news.) She used to be a student at Xavier's -- she became an X-Man at a very young age, like 12 or 13. Logan used to take her on missions. He really misses her. He's gone a lot too. He's always leaving, but he used to come back more often. _
> 
> Megan, Laura (my other new roommate) and I caught Mr. Summers sleeping on the couch a few times. We think he and Ms. Frost are breaking up. It's not something any of the students would have a bet about, of course. Though the teachers would hardly notice if we did. Classes haven't resumed yet. But don't worry, I'm sure they'll be underway soon enough and you'll hear me complain about homework and exams.

 

Agent Brand tapped the top of Hisako's computer and placed a slightly charred Pop Tart on the counter next to her. "Here you go."

"Oh. Um, thanks?" said Hisako. "You didn't have to--"

"Contrary to popular belief, I can take a hint when I hear one." Brand held her Pop Tart in the palm of her hand, not seeming to notice the heat. Maybe her gloves worked like pot holders. "What are you working on that has you up so late?"

Hisako quickly shut her laptop. "I'm. . .writing a letter to my parents. About moving to San Francisco. And being an X-Man. Woman. X-Person." It wasn't that Hisako couldn't tell a lie; it was that she couldn't do it without any preparation. And she really wasn't prepared for Brand to show up in the kitchen and actually talk to her.

"Yeah? How's that working out for you?" Agent Brand nibbled the top corner of her Pop Tart. "I'm not sure I like this."

"Wait until you get to the frosting." Judging her instant pastry to be cool enough, Hisako broke off a section and popped it into her mouth. "It's better if you eat the insides with the outsides," she said, around the mouthful of strawberry goo. Mr. Summers probably had a rule about not eating in front of one's laptop, but Hisako figured what Mr. Summers didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

"I didn't understand a word of that," said Brand, but she took a bigger bite and seemed a little more pleased with the result. It was hard to tell with Agent Brand sometimes, given that she was prone to sarcasm and was rather intimidating at the best of times.

With that in mind, Hisako couldn't believe what she said next: "I don't know what to tell my parents." She blamed it on the pastry-sharing. That's what food did: sharing food made you over-share other information about yourself. It happened all the time in her family, even without the aid of alcohol.

Brand leaned back, lifting an eyebrow. "Do they know you're a mutant?"

Hisako nodded.

"Do they know about the X-Men?"

More than what the news broadcasted, Agent Brand meant. Hisako nodded again.

"So where's the problem?" Brand's green eyes suddenly gleamed -- Hisako realized she'd never seen Brand without her glasses on. ". . .Unless _you're_ the one with the problem about being an X-Man."

Hisako hesitated. "I. . .don't know."

"Hmm." Brand looked a little worried. "Do you want me to get Hank? You could talk to _him_ about this." She was half-way to the door before she finished talking.

"Wait!" Hisako called out. "Please don't tell him. I don't want them to think I'm not, not. . ." She struggled to find the right words -- another point in favour of writing stuff down, rather than talking about it. "I want to be an X-Man. For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be an X-Man. It's why my parents sent me to Westchester."

Brand turned around and slowly walked over to where Hisako was sitting. "Listen. The Breakworld -- it's a hell of a thing to go through, losing a friend like that."

"Two." Hisako blinked back an unexpected tear. "It was W-Wing, first."

"Oh, no. No, no. Don't start crying." Brand raised her hands - one of them still clutching a half-eaten Pop Tart - in surrender. "I'm definitely getting Hank if you cry. You don't want that, right?"

Hisako took a deep breath. She waited a moment before attempting to speak again. "I'm not crying. I never told my parents about him. Or Kitty. Or any of this."

"So tell them."

"You want me to tell them my best friend died, which is how I ended up in outer space where Mr. Summers had a crazy plan that involved _him_ dying too and Logan said I was an X-Man because I put on Kitty Pryde's spare uniform and gave myself a name everyone makes fun of?" Hisako's pulse was racing fast enough that she knew she was on the brink of armouring up, if she didn't calm down a little.

Brand tilted her head. "Sure. But leave S.W.O.R.D. out of it, will you? A lot of it's classified information."

Hisako thought about baby animals and counting to ten before speaking again. Some of the tension left her body as the urge to build a wall around herself faded. "Have you always wanted to be a S.W.O.R.D. agent?"

Brand shook her head and finished off her Pop Tart. "Don't change the subject. We're talking about you," she said. "Why do you want to quit the X-Men?"

"I don't want to quit," said Hisako, not quite as calmly as she'd like.

"So don't quit. Are you going to eat that?"

After a moment, Hisako said, "No one joins the X-Men if they're not a mutant."

"Okay. . ." Brand looked at Hisako expectantly. Hisako passed the rest of her Pop Tart over.

"No one ever leaves the X-Men either, not really. I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of commitment."

"You really should be having this conversation with someone other than me," said Brand, but she didn't try to leave the room again.

Hisako shook her head. "I can't have this conversation with Logan because the last time I tried. . .well, we were in space and about to be killed, and I was kind of freaking out about that, so I can understand where he was coming from, but it's not like he's here very much either."

"Whereas I am?" said Brand, dryly.

"You're here now," Hisako mumbled. There were things she wished she could explain to herself, Brand, her parents, Logan. . . Half-formed thoughts jumbled around in her head about being a mutant, being a mutant who could pass as baseline human, being Japanese and a mutant, being Kitty Pryde's replacement. . . Writing letters she'd never send didn't seem to be helping.

"Lucky me," said Brand, but without any resentment in her voice. She even went to the refrigerator and pulled out a beer. "Do you want one?"

"I'm underage!" Hisako was mildly shocked, more by Brand taking a seat one stool over than the offer of an alcoholic beverage.

Brand twisted off the bottle cap. "Are you telling me Logan's never let you have a taste?"

"That's not the point." Hisako pulled the sleeves of her pajama top over her fingers, playing with the worn edges. Clothes were a little like armour, though not as good at stopping punches or breaking a long fall. "My parents sent me to Xavier's so I could learn how to control my mutation. It was the safest place for mutants who didn't want to control the world or use violence to gain acceptance. But that's not really true, is it?" Brand sent her a side-long glance and Hisako half-shrugged. "Why else would we have combat training and a Danger Room instead of a regular gym?"

"Certain sports were war-games once," Brand said, "but I conceded your point."

"'Mutants are dangerous,' we're told over and over again. Emma Frost told us once that we had to keep a cool head, even in the middle of an attack, because no one else would. I never really believed it until Wing died," said Hisako. "I didn't think _I_ was dangerous. Not like Logan or Mr. Summers or Storm." She turned her hands over, studying the lines on her palm. "But you don't have to have that kind of power or want to do violence to inflict a lot of damage. That's what people are afraid of, isn't it? It just doesn't seem like much has changed," she went on, not waiting for confirmation of what she already knew to be true. "The original X-Men - " _the ones who are alive_, she thought, but did not say out loud "- they're still fighting. And they became the X-Men when they were my age."

"You really ought to speak to Hank or Scott about this." Brand held up her hands. "Hang on. I'm not saying this to get rid of you, but they are, as you say, part of the original group. I don't think these doubts of yours are all that unique." She smiled in a way Hisako was going to interpret as mostly reassuring and only slightly frightening.

Given the state of American culture when Xavier's school first opened, Hisako didn't think it was entirely accidental that the original five X-Men were white kids and only one of them a girl. "Maybe it's not as bad as I'm making it sound. There's lots more of us now. I just always expected to graduate first, or have a lot more training or something."

Brand spun her beer bottle around, the liquid sloshing around inside and almost spilling over the edge. "Far be it for me to extoll the virtues of the X-Men, but it seems to me they're there when you need them, whether or not you want them around. I would not be surprised if most of the X-Men have stories similar to yours. People create and join all sorts of groups out of necessity." Brand stood up and pushed herself away from the counter. She picked up the box of Pop Tart and her beer. "Tell Logan thanks for the beer."

"Hey, Agent Brand?"

She looked back, green hair falling over her shoulder.

"Thanks."

"For what?" Brand's expression was bland, but Hisako thought she saw a smile in there somewhere.

After Brand left the kitchen, Hisako turned her computer back on and started a new letter.

> _Dear Mom and Dad,_
> 
> I have so many things to tell you, but first I wanted to share the news that I'm an X-Man now! It came as a bit of a surprise to me, but Logan says there's nothing like on the job training. He also says I have to pick a new name because "Armor" is too on the nose, but I think I'm too used to it now to change it.
> 
> To be honest, despite my goal to be an X-Man, I had my doubts when I was included in missions, at first. I didn't think I was ready - I'm not sure anyone really is, until they're in the middle of things - but every day I'm learning something new. It's good to be part of this group and what they stand for. Someone told me that the X-Men are there for you when you need them. I think she's right and I hope that'll be me some day, for another mutant. (Even though, in the future, I hope that the X-Men are no longer necessary to fight for mutant rights because we'll _have_ them.)

 

Brand was right about mutants joining the X-Men out of necessity, but maybe, maybe they stayed together - or kept coming back - for different reasons. Family was too strong a word - and Hisako couldn't help but feel it was disloyal to her own, who'd always been supportive - and friendship was too casual, but there was a bond made from growing up together, fighting together and being part of something greater than herself and that the rest of the world didn't comprehend that Hisako wanted to hold onto.

Hisako yawned, and decided that she could fall asleep now. She tucked her laptop under her arm and made her way back to her room; she quietly crawled into bed, careful not to wake her roommates, and left the rest of the letter writing until after she got some sleep.


End file.
